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In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:

1. Mark Epstein: Trump never blew Clinton - "Certainly not Bill anyway".
2. Epstein discharge petition scrapes through House 218-217, but Transparency Bill 427-1. Who the fuck votes Yes AND No, people?!!!
3. US Def Sec Pete Hegseth defends new 'OPERATION GAYLORD': "It's the first name of the great Major Boner of Fort Dick's, you ignoramuses! He was a hard man!!”
4. Mark Epstein clarifies: Trump never blew *any* Clinton - "Bottomed for one or both of 'em maybe, but that's it." 
5. And in sport, Ireland and Scotland qualify for World Cups in football, drinking and hysterical screaming of gibberish! SLAINTE!

Plus, from the week Epstein victims are calling 'comparatively delightful':

1. Saudis at White House State Dinner sneak steak home in tiny pieces
2. Mrs Khashoggi accidentally kills Prince Mohammed Bin Salman, Trump driving monster truck into Oval Office - "Hey, things happen!" 
3. "Profoundly misled" Robert Towne demands "Chinatown" Oscar back from Townsville City Council. Council: “Things happen!”
4. Jersey gets a Guernsey for income not Earnesy
5. Swiss gift Trump gold ingot, Rolex; decline kind offer of suckjob
6. Tariffs magically reduce and increase US trade deficit, AND  increase and reduce food prices*. (*also Voted Yes, No on Epstein bill)
7. Diplomatic spat sees US Treas. Sec Scott Bessent blame Mexican cows for high beef prices. Mexican cows blame high Scott Bessent!
8. The Ashes are underway and we have 2 Adelaide Test tix to give away, except you have to pay face value and collect in a black Suzuki Vitara.

And so much more! In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk & Henry Lee! (Arnie The Dog a regretful No).

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Produced, mixed, compiled and edited by Junior 

Incoherent Remix by South Australian Senior of the Year Hosting C*nts

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No-one at Instant Experts is or has ever been a meteorologist

Mark Epstein reclarifies: "Clintons defs doubleteamed Trump hard but 100% no BJ"  

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